There's a Man Standing Outside the Window

A night of revelry can't be complete until a man is caught with his pants down. Yesterday night we went to Le Souk, an Egyptian restaurant/hookah bar/club in the East Village. Upon entering the door, we pass by a line of tables with people smoking hookah, filling the air with a sweet aroma. There's a tiny dance floor on the first floor and a larger dance floor on the bottom level, which played house music.

Since it was a Saturday night, the place was packed, limiting my dance moves and making it hard to avoid the drunk girls who bump into everyone. The dj played some good remixed old-school songs and transitioned to Middle Eastern music, which signaled the end of my dancing. Nothing annoys me more than seeing and hearing a man do the clap-dance, especially when the claps are off beat.

We sat down so my friend could smoke hookah. All of a sudden, I see a staffer rush to the entrance and then three HUGE bouncers rushed in. You know what that means...Fight! Fight! Fight! Within a few seconds, four bouncers dragged a man out from the dance floor to the front door, circling him as though they were trapping him in. In the dim light, all I could see were his legs, which made him look like he was either wearing nude-colored tights or wearing no pants. Yep, he was wearing no pants...well, sort of. His pants were DOWN to his ankles! hahahahaha! Did he get in a fight while he was in the bathroom? Did he expose himself on the dance floor? I have no clue what happened, but the whole ordeal entertained me.

I ended up going back to my friend's place around 5am and slept in my other friend's bedroom (she's out of town). Before I went to bed, I closed the window to minimize the noise from the cars. (My friend's window has an interior barred door that locks from the inside and is designed to prevent anyone from the outside to unlock it.) As I lay with my eyes closed, I could hear sounds of footsteps on the roof and then the sound of someone pressing the button from downstairs to get into the building. Then I heard noise that sounded as if something was directly outside the window. Keep in mind, my friend's apartment is on the 4th floor, which is the last floor of the building. I opened my eyes, turned my head to look at the window, and I see a man standing on the fire escape, looking in, lifting up the window. OH MY F*CKIN' SH*T!!! My heart was racing so fast and the fight or flight instinct kicked in, prompting me to jump out of bed, walk to the window and scream, "WHAT THE F*CK ARE YOU DOING?! GET OUT OF HERE!!!" I squeezed my fingers through the bars to push down the window and the man immediately went down the fire escape.

My brain took awhile to process what the f*ck just happened. I went to my friend's room to wake her up. Do you want to call the cops? What if the guy wanted to rape me? Or maybe he wanted to steal something? Or maybe he's just the drunk neighbor who locked himself out of his apartment and mistook my window for his window? (The windows are within inches next to each other.) My friend didn't want to call the police because the guy was gone by then, so we decided to go downstairs to see how the man got onto our fire escape. There were two ways: he could have pulled himself up the ladder from the ground level and walked up, or he could have climbed out of one of the apartments and made his way up to our floor, which meant that he lives there or knows someone who lives there. In the end, there was nothing we could do but make sure the window and barred door were locked. I told my friend to confront her neighbors but I'm not sure if she will. If I were her, I'd throw a bitchfit and kick the guy in the balls for scaring the shit out of me.

In other news, my roommate's bicycle was stolen from our backyard the other day, furthering my worries. Someone easily jumped the fence, entered our backyard and walked out with a freakin' bike. The street that I live on rarely has traffic going through so it's unlikely someone saw anything and if they did, they probably don't give a crap. I wouldn't be surprised if it was the neighbor, who also has a bicycle but it wasn't stolen. I went around the apartment to test the windows' locks and most of them don't work. I wrote a letter to Ivan last night to fix the windows and today, he (with a shirt on!) cut up some wood to block the windows from opening. Eh, it will have to do for now.