Quality Women > Quality Men

The aunt with breast cancer, the married guy, and the blue-eyed guy. Three unrelated people who got me thinking about the challenges women face in finding men who are equal or better than them in terms of moral and personal character--things like emotional resilience, reliability, generosity, and selflessness. While I can't speak for the entire female population, my friends, family and I have concluded that there are more quality women than there are men.

The aunt with breast cancer
The women in my family have always ran the household. They have provided for their family while unemployed, endured verbal and physical abuse, dug their way out of debt, ensured that their children went to college despite not having a college degree of their own, and still managed to make home-cooked meals everyday. They taught me what it means to be a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a woman. So when my aunt recently discovered that she had breast cancer and had to lose one breast and eventually lose her hair, she had to be strong--not only for herself, but also for her children and especially for my 86-year-old grandma who lives with her. One of the most admirable qualities about the women in my family is that they constantly put the interests of others above their own.

The married guy
My friend had plans to meet up with a guy but she wanted me to come along so she wouldn't be alone. While she danced with him, I made small talk with his newly married friend. We were talking about his marriage and later he asked if I was looking for a relationship. I answered along the lines of, "The guys that I meet in NY are lame." His response: "You're right, there aren't that many quality guys out there. My wife has two great single girlfriends but I don't know of any good guys to introduce them to." Way to shatter someone's hope of ever finding a decent guy in NY.

The blue-eyed guy
My dad told me to stop focusing on the exterior and start considering the interior. What can I say? I get distracted by pretty things. The guys who I meet tend to have different intentions from me. They're fun to hang out with in the short-term but they care about only themselves.

What this all means
I have met few men who are as emotionally strong or stronger than my aunt, and my experience and friends' anecdotal stories suggest that most guys in NY can't be taken seriously. The way I see it-- there are more quality women than there are men...which means that I'll appreciate a great guy when I meet one and that my time with the blue-eyed guy is almost over.

**I dedicate this posting to my cousin, DD.