Dream Wedding?

This picture looks like a typical wedding photo--a bride in her white dress and flowing veil, a groom in his sharp suit and tie. But then you take a closer, longer look. There are two couples getting married--why? The brides are awkwardly leaning in, or away, not sure what direction the photographer is telling them to go. The left groom is holding the bride's arm, not in a loving manner, but in a controlling way. And the guy on the right--well, he's just goofy looking... Or perhaps I'm being too analytical and the camera guy happened to catch the couples off-guard.

I came across this picture in the NY Times accompanying an article about young Vietnamese women marrying Korean men. The headline didn't sound bad at first. Sure, they're making the Asian gene pool look even more homogeneous than it already is, and will be combining two potent ethnic creations to make the next weapon of mass destruction--fish sauce/nuoc mam and kimchi. But as I started reading the article, I became disheartened. Older Korean men are paying marriage brokers to introduce them to a room full of hopeful Vietnamese women in their twenties, and some young as 18.

You can read the article to get a social and cultural context of the situation, but what it basically says is that the Korean men are having a hard time finding suitable marriage partner, so they travel to countries that are typically poor in search of their brides. The key word here is poor.

These women lack opportunities in their own country and are desperate for better lives, even if it means moving to a foreign country with a complete stranger. The men usually prefer the less educated women who will devote their time to taking care of the house and family; after all, those are the same men who were probably rejected by the women in their country who have higher expectations of their husbands-to-be. Though it seems like both parties get what they want, it is the women who end up disadvantaged. She doesn't speak the husband's native language and will most likely depend on him for financial support. She can't turn to her family or friends for emotional support, albeit it would be on the phone.

To be fair to the other side, things can work out. But my concern is more on the shortage of opportunities for self-sustaining growth in these poor countries. People aren't concerned about accumulation of material goods; they're worried about whether or not there's enough food to eat and that they can have the bare necessities to survive. So I can understand why any opportunity to leave the lifestyle that they have is better than staying where they're at. They don't want to leave. They have to leave. It's just unfortunate that young women have to uproot themselves from their families, which is the most important entity in traditional Asian countries. What happens when there's a shortage of single women for the single men?