Home, Sweet Home

Where was the first place I visited after flying into California? In-n-Out! That's damn right! There's no burger joint in NY that comes close to the perfectly proportioned meat patty, fresh tomatoes and lettuce, crispy pickles, sweet grilled onions, and tasty special sauce of an In-n-Out burger. After my tum tum was happy, I was ready to go sleep in my bed.

I haven't seen my family since August. It has been the longest time that I've ever been away from them. Seeing them again gave me a much needed dose of warmth and love. I remember my first days in NY, I was so miserable, calling my parents and sisters every several hours. But as time went on, I grew to love the city and to adjust to being without them.

People ask me if living in NY has changed me. Five months may seem too soon to tell, but I can say with certainty that a part of me holds onto the same values and beliefs, while the other part of me has become more open-minded and receptive to change. Before I would say, "I would do this and that in a certain situation" whereas now I wouldn't be so quick to say what I would do. When I've never experienced something before, I could only speculate on how I would react to that situation based on my values and my intellect. But when I actually experience the situation for the first time, my preconceptions are challenged and it makes me think that I don't know myself as well as I thought I did...and that drives me crazy. I've tried to change my way of thinking, to not have restrictive preconceptions that limit my ability to experience something different or new--and that has been the greatest change in me. As contradictory as it will sound, I remain the same person. The Dalai Lama once said, "Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values."

My mom and aunts are trying to bulk me up before I go back to NY and get my fill of Vietnamese food. I've been touring my different aunts' houses to eat (they're all neighbors). Of course my lovely mom made pho, my fav! I've been hanging out with my sisters and cousins and catching up on the latest family crazy talk. I've played hide-and-go-seek with the little cousins and, as embarrassing as it is, watched High School Musical with them...and enjoyed it. I've hung out with my parents and listen to my mom nag at my dad. I've walked barefoot on spotless, cockroachless floors (damn you dirty NY roomies!). I got to hear my grandma's laugh and give her a tight squeeze every time I see her.

It feels good to be home again.