I Broke My Ass

We had dinner last night at a new friend's apartment overlooking the river and the Jersey skyline. The night started off with some wine (my first time drinking a full glass), cheese and crackers, and then soup and a fish dish. I'm not really a wine drinker so I was given a lychee martini...yuuuummm...Sadly, I was cursed with having bad sex for seven years. Apparently when you tap glasses with people to toast, you're supposed to look them in the eye and drink right after doing so or else you'll have bad sex for seven years. I, being the idiot that I am, always forget to look them in the eye because I keep my eye on the glass to make sure I don't hit it too hard to break it.

We busted out the classic game of Twister (I was the first to go down) and danced around like no one was watching, and in the middle of dancing, New Friend picked me up. Perhaps I was heavier than anticipated or perhaps New Friend was a bit intoxicated, but I was dropped on the wooden floor, landing on my left ass. It hurt so freakin' bad. In fact, it still hurt the next day. Every step I take, my ass hurts! It's not bruised so I'm wondering if my ass bone broke. Is there such thing as an ass bone?